Let That Sh*t Go to Help Your Bravery and Business Grow!

That Sh*t Go to Help Your Bravery and Business Grow

Stop Thinking and 

Burn the Bra

By: Melissa Ghelarducci Hancock

I Do. I Did. I’m Done! 

Divorced & Ready to Travel Diaries 

I went to Costa Rica because a friend asked if I was interested.

That’s it. No grand plan. No spreadsheet. Just an invite to join a retreat designed to help women learn how to build retreats of their own.

I’m an avid world traveler and will hop on a plane, train, or hot air balloon in a second, and I’m expanding my divorce coaching work to include travel therapy, helping people rebuild their lives after divorce, breakups, and loss. Travel has always been how I reset, gain perspective, and remember who I am outside of survival mode.

So when the invite came, my personal motto showed up right on time, and I just taught it to the world…

Screw it. Just do it.

I assumed I was walking into a business focused retreat. Strategy. Logistics. Planning. The things I thrive on, and usually handle myself from beginning to end.

What I didn’t expect was that the bravest part of this trip would be letting go of control.

For once, I wasn’t the planner. I went on faith and let my friend Tanya, who had attended the retreat the year before, take the wheel. I sat back. I followed. I received.

That alone was uncomfortable. And necessary.

We stayed at the El Mangrove Autograph Collection right on the beach. Absolutely beautiful. Stunning views. Ocean breeze perfection.

And then the mosquitoes showed up like they were on payroll.

When packing lists tell you to bring bug spray, they are not offering a suggestion. They are issuing a warning. Every morning turned into a group discussion of who had the most bites and where. Ankles, arms, legs, places I didn’t know mosquitoes could emotionally devastate. Costa Rica is magical. The mosquitoes are feral.

This retreat gathered about 45 women from all over the world, all in the retreat space, each bringing her own story, background, and reason for being there. I went in thinking conference mode and walked into something very different.

People were being saged to release negative energy. There was a massive fur rug on the floor filled with spiritual objects and tokens we were invited to place with intention. Everyone somehow looked the same. Flowing clothes. Earthy colors. Bras and shaving are clearly optional.

You could spot each other instantly at the resort. Mrs. Roper meets peace train energy.

By the end of the trip, I was fully on board.

Stop thinking and burn the bra.

I kept waiting for hardcore strategy sessions. Instead, there was meditation. Breathing. Movement. Dancing like no one was watching. Rage screaming that felt like I was having an exorcism that made my religious upbringing briefly wonder if I was about to burst into flames. But it felt so good and way over due. Hell, I almost cried, and I’m not a cryer. 

And then came the, deep in the jungle adventure tour and hot springs mud bath.

The entire time, my brain kept quietly asking if this was the moment we got kidnapped or accidentally trafficked because nothing about this was in my comfort zone. But we had an incredible tour guide who took a liking to us crazy Americans and became our personal driver across the country instead of a one day tour.

After near death experiences climbing volcanoes, exploring bat filled caves, avoiding massive snakes, and swimming through dangerous waters to reach waterfalls, you bond fast.

From there, we moved to another retreat location called Mother Earth Vegan.

I’ll be honest. My first thought was, oh great, now I’m in an occult and about to become a vegan.

More chanting. More movement. More breathing. I have never breathed so much in my life. Dance therapy. Rage therapy. Meditation stacked on meditation.

We barely drank any fancy cocktails, which for me on a trip is shocking. Instead, we were present. Clear. Moving. Sitting in circles. Guided meditations in pools. Kumbaya energy everywhere.

And then came one of the most unexpected moments of the entire retreat.

We were literally re-baptized into a new way of thinking, in a pool.

Not religious. Not performative. Not forced.

Each of us stepped into the water and released old stories about relationships, business, worth, fear, and identity. What we thought success had to look like. What we were taught to carry. What no longer fit.

It wasn’t about washing anything away.

It was about choosing differently.

Choosing alignment over force.

Choosing intuition over overthinking.

Choosing presence over pressure.

Here’s where something else unexpected happened.

We were all invited to lead a group and speak about what we know.

My first instinct was no. My wheelhouse is divorce, breakups, trauma, loss, and recovery. I remember thinking, what do I have to offer here if people haven’t lived through that?

But as the week went on, I realized something important.

Every single woman there had experienced loss. Identity loss. Relationship loss. Career shifts. Grief. Fear. Reinvention.

Different stories. Same core work.

Learning how to let that sh*t go is what helps your life and business grow.

So I got brave. I stopped overthinking. And in one day, I wrote a talk.

I stood up and shared what I know, not from theory, but from lived experience. From rebuilding. From choosing courage. From letting go when it would have been easier to stay quiet.

And just like that, I became an international speaker.

Not because I planned it.

Not because it was on my vision board.

But because I finally stopped thinking and burned the bra.

The retreat was called Here for More.

I didn’t realize until the end that I actually was.

Sometimes bravery doesn’t look like charging ahead.

Sometimes it looks like loosening your grip, trusting the process, and letting yourself be changed.

Let that sh*t go.

That’s how bravery grows.

Experiences like this are exactly why I believe travel can be one of the most powerful tools for healing and rebuilding. When you step out of familiar environments, your nervous system resets, perspective shifts, and clarity follows. This is the foundation of the travel based experiences I’m continuing to create, not vacations, but intentional journeys designed to help women reconnect with themselves and what’s next. 

Gratitude & Credits

This experience would not have been what it was without the people and places who made it possible.

Many thanks to Amber Hagberg, founder of Here For More LIVE 2.0 & Masterpiece Retreat 2025, for creating a retreat experience that challenged comfort zones, expanded perspective, and reminded us that real growth starts from the inside out.

https://www.amberhagberg.com/hereformore

Deep gratitude for the stunning hospitality at El Mangroove Autograph Collection in Guanacaste, Costa Rica, where ocean views, sunsets, and intentional space set the tone for connection and reflection.

https://www.marriott.com/en-us/hotels/lirel-el-mangroove-autograph-collection/overview/?scid=f2ae0541-1279-4f24-b197-a979c79310b0

Thank you to Mother Earth Vegan Boutique Hotel for holding space for deep work, embodiment, and community in a setting that supported presence, healing, and clarity.

https://www.meveganhotel.com/

And appreciation to Gerson at Costa Rica Wild & Fun for incredible transportation and adventure experiences that turned a retreat into a true journey across Costa Rica.

https://www.crwildfun.com/ 

Tanya Chaney for being my person! 

About the Author

Melissa Ghelarducci Hancock is the owner and founder of I Do. I Did. I’m Done! Divorce Coaching and Divorced & Ready to Travel Diaries. She is a certified divorce and conflict resolution specialist, international speaker, best seller author, teacher and developmental therapist with over 25 years of experience working with children and families. Based in Pennsylvania, her work blends professional expertise with lived experience.

After navigating a high conflict divorce herself, she now helps others move through divorce, breakups, loss, and major life transitions with clarity, courage, and strategy. She is expanding her work to include travel based healing experiences, using perspective and connection to support personal growth and rebuilding.

www.divorcecoachmelissa.com

Melissa is a proud member of the Brave Women Project and believes in the power of women gathering with intention, honesty, humor, and bravery.

https://www.bwp.life/

Her motto is simple.

Stop thinking.

Burn the bra.

Let that sh*t go.

That’s how bravery grows.